In less than one month i turn twenty five.
When i was a little girl i thought that by this age i would have my whole life figured out i would be married, have bought a house and probably would have two kids by now.
The reality of the issue is that I'm sat here in my finances room at his parents house where i basically now live writing this at near five in the afternoon still in my princess bubblegum adventure time pyjamas, no make up on and my hair in the most unflattering top knot I've ever seen.
so yeah kinda different to my childhood expectations.
The problem is i don't even know if i want that dream anymore.
Sure i do want to get married and actually have some plans put in motion which I'm sure ill bore you to death with at a later date, but i have no idea where i want to live, what kind of job i definitely want or if i even want children anymore.
I don't feel like i have changed since i was fourteen apart from the fact i have gained a lot of weight, covered a chunk of my body in tattoos and continuously dyed and chopped my hair.
Emotionally i feel exactly the same, i listen to the same punk pop music, watch the same type of films, have the same best friend and even after a 6 year hiatus am dating the same person i did at age fourteen.
And whilst i feel that I'm not the only person my age who must be in this predicament all i seem to see on my social media feed is the endless floods of happiness and adventure everyone i went to school with are having.
I have people on my feed who are living the house, marriage and two kids scenario but also at the same time have those who are travelling the world having these amazing adventures and others who have the most incredible adult type jobs.
I even went to school with a guy who photographs celebrities and took the most liked picture on Instagram one year of kimye's wedding.
Compared to my peers I feel I'm pretty much failing life.
Hence my quarter life crisis.
Last year i returned to education the hopes of getting my life on track and achieving an actual career and now i am shortly entering into the second year of a degree which absolutely terrifies me.
I do realise a lot of this is basic first world problems.
and my life is not terrible just a little confusing at times.
Im hoping to use this blog as a sort of online diary to document the coming years and all the new experiences that comes with them.
Basically as the title entails I'm hoping to define my twenties.
